


Ashley Jade Callenreese Jr.

by AshidoMyBurritos



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash Lynx Lives, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Jealous Ash Lynx, M/M, Memes, Panic Attacks, Shorter Wong Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshidoMyBurritos/pseuds/AshidoMyBurritos
Summary: Eiji finds a stray female lynx. It goes down from there.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Shorter Wong, Okumura Eiji/Shorter Wong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Ashley Jade Callenreese Jr.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: *barely sees any happy and silly stories of the boys*
> 
> Fine, I guess I’ll do it myself.
> 
> Warning for explicit words near the end of the fic.
> 
> Please watch this vid to understand one of the references 🥸
> 
> https://youtu.be/1nclX3Lwwgg

It was quite a peaceful night at Ash’s hangout. The boys of Shorter, Ash, and Cain were all lazing around. In a few hours, they will be off to fight against a sudden gang boss that was the king of dicks, and all gangs were gathered to soon beat his ass and share the territories. The calm before the storm, per se. Eiji, the stubborn Japanese, always had to be an optimistic mother of the gangs and dragged Shorter and Sing to the nearest grocery store to buy the crew treats. Many saw the jealous look on Ash’s face for not being invited, but no one dared to bring it up. 

The jealousy grew tenfold when Eiji came running inside the spacious warehouse, screeching at the top of his lungs. Everyone had a hand on their guns in an instant, looking for whatever danger came chasing after the angel, but only Shorter and Sing followed behind, huffing and puffing. 

“Eiji, what the fuck.” What the fuck indeed. Because Eiji came inside screeching,

“I FOUND HER IN AN ALLEYWAY! SHORTER AND I AGREED TO KEEP IT, AND HER NAME IS ASHLEY! NICKNAME IS ASH!”

“YOU NAMED A STRAY LYNX AFTER ME!” Lo and behold, Eiji presented the little kitten to the entire world, making the younger kids sing, “IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIFE!”

Ashley, now known as Ash, squirmed to be let down, and when her paws touched the cold ground, she sashayed and stopped in front of Ash, the both of them staring each other down. Minutes passed with both of them refusing to lose the battle. Kitten Ash let out a mew, and human Ash dramatically gasped to fuss like a child on a tantrum.

“She just called me a bitch!” He pointed at the kitten, the furry creature hissed dramatically at the fleshy thing pointed her way. Sing sighed. Great, more drama queens he has to spend time with.

Kitten Ash let herself be picked up by Eiji with ease. The Japanese cooed and squeaked, “There's no way our daughter would call her father a bitch! Look at her!” Kitten Ash sent the gang members threatening stares. Also, sweet and pure Eiji, the kitten can’t call the boss a bitch because it can’t talk, but they felt it in their souls by looking at the creature’s eyes. 

Ash screamed, “I AM NOT ACCEPTING THAT THING AS MY DAUGHTER!” He walked away, making Eiji yell, 

“GET BACK HERE AND CLAIM YOUR CHILD!”

“NO!”

“I MAKE YOU PAY CHILD SUPPORT!” 

“I’LL FORCE HER INTO THE ZOO!” 

Eiji gasped, putting his hands over the kitten’s ears. He told the kitten that her father didn’t mean it. He was just shocked that he had a child and didn’t want to be responsible. The kitten gagged...as if offended that the blonde thing was her guardian. Eiji thought it was the kitten tearing up, and he cooed at her again. 

Shorter, Cain, Alex, Bones, and Kong were laughing their asses off. They saw moments of Ash being a literal child, but this totally takes the cake. Such a coincidence that Eiji found a stray lynx; the dopey and romantic angel even named the kitten after the human! To put strawberries on top, the kitten even has the personality of the gang leader! Their laughs escalated to hollers until Sing fussed at them for being shitheads and they should check on Ash, who went upstairs of the complex. 

They settled their laughter, wiped the tears from their eyes, and followed Sing upstairs where they saw Ash staring out the window. 

Ash didn’t even let Sing ask the guy was he okay when he started ranting.

“Straight up, Eiji’s my boy. My cute lil boo thang, but not this Ash fool. Ashley is a dumb name. She comes up here like she owns the place, with her cool fur and pretty eyes like she is some sort of God. She’s not God. She’s just a fucking kitten. Everybody loving this fucking kitten, especially Eiji. Like bro, I have known you for...months, you only know this ‘Ash’ for twenty minutes.” 

“Oh my fucking god.” Sing looked in bewilderment as Ash pouted. Shorter and Alex were trying to keep in their laughter, and wow what a great boyfriend and second in command they were. On cue, the lynx sashayed herself inside the area, the boys giving her space. The lynx stopped once again to stare at Ash, and they were back at it again.

Human Ash growled...like a lynx. “Yo, why she looking at me like that? What, you got a staring problem or something?”

“Asshu, it’s literally just a kitten. She’s just looking at you.” Eiji appeared with a judging look on his face. Eiji was standing behind her, so he didn’t see the daring look on the kitten’s face. Alex noticed the claws rising from the kitten’s paws and took a step back. Wow. Ash ignored Eiji’s comments, but damn, even his bae was on the furry freak’s side. That shit hurted!

“Look at her face! Her dumb little face!” The final straw to make Ash go apeshit was the snarky little, “Mew.”

Ash screeched, “EIJI, COME GET YA CAT!” Ash and Ash pounced, both of them hissing and growling, everything going chaotic. Bruh, Ash was tryna throw hands with a cat. But not just any cat, a fucking lynx, as bold and dominating as Ash Lynx. 

“Woah Woah, Ashley Jade Callenreese Jr! You know better than that!” The kitten stopped her bitching to sulk at Eiji’s feet. Wow, Eiji was on a whole nother level of power. He tamed two lynxes, and whatever type of spirit animal Shorter would be...a dragon? Nah, maybe a panda. Anyways, real hot girl shit.

Human Ash, though, was still screeching. 

“YOU EVEN GAVE HER MY FULL NAME?” He deflated into Shorter’s arms, whispering to the Chinese how Ashley was going to steal his identity. Shorter was in tears. Oh Ash, how could you have an IQ over two-hundred, but think a fucking cat can steal your entire identity?

“Stop being ridiculous, Asshu! She doesn’t even know how to file taxes! Now, I want you to apologize to each other, and we’re going to be a happy family!” Eiji...there were more things the lynx couldn’t do besides filing taxes. Cain, Bones, and Kong were wheezing as they laid on the floor in tears. Cain’s men never saw their boss laugh so hard before. The entire scenario was hilarious and ridiculous though. The two lynxes stood before each other, neither wanting to apologize first. Surprisingly, the kitten stuck a paw out as a form of an apology, while Ash sneered and said, “Thank you for realizing you were in the wrong and apologizing.” 

Ash walked around it to glomp Eiji. The dark eyes were once again judging the blonde. 

“So, you’re not going to apologize?” Ash sent Eiji a confused look.

“What did I do wrong?” Shorter was fucking screaming, grabbing onto his sides as he cried on the ground. Eiji sighed in defeat and went back downstairs with Ash hanging off his back, and kitten Ash following behind. 

The members of all gangs wondered the same thing, “What the fuck is going on?”

~~

Shorter was on tiktok, doing a recording of Ash knocked out on the bed, and kitten Ash on top of his chest. The camera zoomed in on the paws on Ash’s neck, claws out but then hiding back in their paws as Eiji’s voice came closer. 

The tiktok received a significant amount of views and comments. 

One being, “ **If it weren’t for the laws of this land, I would’ve ended you.** ” 

Shorter wheezed.

~~

“BACK 🤺 BACK YOU HEATHEN 🤺 BACK! I SAID BACK!” Ash had a water bottle spray cocked to the side at the kitten hissing at him. The kitten, growing bigger at a rapid rate, bigger than a boot, screeched. 

~~

Ash walked into the living room to see the little shit and Shorter cuddling on the couch. He swears to god, he can hear the devil purring on his man’s neck. Ash let a single tear fall. First Eiji and now Shorter? This kitten was really going to take over his life! Ash coughed, making Shorter startle, and the kitten mewled grumpily. Ash smirked, serves you right.

He crossed his arms as he stared at Shorter.

“So you’re hanging out with the off-brand Ash now?”

“A-ASH, IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!”

Ash cocked out a nerf gun. “I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH!” 

He pulled the trigger.

~~

On Saturday nights, Eiji, Shorter, and Ash would go to the Glenreed’s household for dinner. It's moments like these where Ash feels like a normal boy with a good family. His two loving boyfriends. His adorable little brother Michael, and the two old people he would never admit to calling mom and dad, all eating and chatting together. 

Ash sighed as he entered Max’s household; he was a little late dealing with some business. The first thing he heard when he entered was Michael’s squeal of, “You’re the best, big bro Ash,” followed by a meow and laughter. Ash walked further inside to the dining room to see...kitten Ash sitting in his chair, eating her portion of healthy food lynxes eats. 

“Guys?” 

“Did you say something, Ash?” Jessica asked the lynx and received a dismissive mew. Ash’s blood went cold as they continued treating the lynx as if she was him. It’s like he wasn’t even there, only a replacement. His mind went down the rabbit tunnel. 

**Whore.**

**Slut.**

**You’ll never be happy.**

**Everything you touch dies.**

**You’re not wanted.**

**You can always be replaced.**

  
Flashes of his first crush being dead because of him. Griffin being shot. His boys being dead or injured because of him. Men and women using his body as they like and throwing him to the side like a piece of trash. 

**“I’m your human toilet** .”

“Asshu!” Ash drowsily looked up to see Eiji and Shorter in his view. He didn’t realize he backed himself into a corner, a harsh grip on his hair until he felt the pain from his scalp. His eyes were glazed, wet with tears streaming down his face. Oh...he had another episode. 

Shorter softly and carefully picked up Ash without scaring him to place him on his lap. Ash tiredly laid on Shorter’s chest as Eiji pried his hands from his blonde locks to entwine their fingers.

“We’re sorry. We were only doing a prank. We didn’t mean for it to get so far.” Guilt flooded Eiji’s eyes, and Ash shook his head. 

“N-not your fault...had stupid flashbacks.”

“Asshu, trauma is not stupid. We should’ve known better to do that when you have such self-doubt and insecurities. Asshu, you’re your own person, and no one can replace you. You’re special in our hearts, and we will never get rid of you. Our souls will forever be with you, remember?” Ash sniffled. Let it be his adorable and caring boyfriend to say the right words as his handsome and cheesy boyfriend held him the right way he liked to be comforted. He was stupid to think he’ll be replaced by the cat. His jealousy severely blinded him. He noticed the big kitten looking at the trio. Those feral eyes landed on Ash’s green eyes, neither of them fought for dominance, just silently observed each other.

“I’m ready to apologize.” He told kitten Ash. A soft pat from Michael made the kitten slowly walk up to Ash, softly climb up his legs to knead, curl up, and purr. Ash patted the kitten; the purrs growing louder. The purrs soothed Ash’s anxiety. The rumblings led him to fall into a deep slumber after his exhausting episode.

~~

“Weren’t they at each other’s throats weeks ago?” Sing questioned Eiji. Everyone was once again settled at the hideout. 

Eiji giggled. “Well, a few things happened, and now they’re best friends!” Sing wondered how the hell Ash got the lynx to hold a blade in her mouth and listen to his orders; those orders being to chase after a screeching Yut-Lung. The gang leaders and members were laughing their ass off, while Yut-Lung’s guards sweatdropped in confusion. S-should they do something about this?

Sing sighed. He should’ve been used to these shenanigans, but there’s always something new with these bastards. 

“Such a great father and daughter relationship! We love to see it!” 

Eiji...what the fuck.


End file.
